A bit of forewarning: this post is going to take a bit to read, so grab some popcorn, you’ll be here for awhile. Also, everything in here is my personal belief, and isn’t fact. Everyone’s entitled to their own beliefs, and I’m not here to force anything on you, I’m just sharing my thoughts and questions. Also, these questions all assume that the god from Christianity is real unless they’re intentionally general. For example: “Is a human more powerful than a god, since assuming a god does not exist, humans would have invented the concept of ‘god’ in the first place?”
Now without further ado, let’s start. I’m an agnostic theist, and if you son’s know what that means, it means that while I believe in the idea of some type of higher power, I’m not necessarily going to try to identify it. The reason for this is that to me, trying to identify with 100% verity a being capable of creating concepts that shatter our minds such as time and space is impossible. This, however, does not mean that I don’t want to learn about the higher being, assuming that there is one. As a matter of fact, the reason why I believe in the exist of one at all is due to science and mythology, and through the course of my learning about the world and other stuff, I’ve learned a lot of things.
For example, mythology and Christianity share a lot of overlap, and I believe that to a certain extent, many people saw the same things, but overtime, stories just became changed as details were lost and modified through the passage of time. The best example I can think of is the story of Manu and Matsyu from Hinduism, which follows the exact plot of Noah and the ark, with the only major difference that instead of animals, Manu is asked by Matsyu to collect all of the grains in the world. As for the science bit, I have also realized that denying science, as well as saying that “everything is a massive coincidence,” are both equally wrong; as evolution, the quantum realm, time, space, energy, and all of this other stuff is too intricate to just be random.
Perhaps the most important thing I’ve realized though, is that whatever this main thing is, it wants two things: to be found, and to be learned about. I’ve never once had a premonition or anything like that, and most of all of this is just my thoughts, but I think that there are clues throughout nature and history that hint to the existence of more, and always have. The what and the why though, are things I don’t ever expect to be able to truly understand, but despite this, I still want to learn and ask as much as I can. That’s why I want to present some of my personal questions to you about Christianity, because being realistic, this religion probably has the biggest chance of being real.
The afterlife
Let’s start off with the fun part first and get right into question #1.
If a person can choose which afterlife they get into, what if they neither want to go to Hell nor Heaven?
I ask this question because I personally don’t want either. I don’t want to go to Hell for the obvious part of not wanting to be tortured for eternity, so I’ll talk more about why I don’t want to go to Heaven. To me, Heaven has always been described as this place of utmost good, where everything is perfect and you can life for eternity. Am I the only one who finds this to be boring? This mainly stems from my animosity towards the concept of immortality, as in my eyes, living for eternity robs life of meaning. I say this because to me, the existence of death cutting everything short is the fuel to live, as it reminds me that I don’t have as much time to experience life, and should do as much as possible in the short time I have. Immortality in any way removes that, as without death, there is no time limit, you can do whatever whenever.
Another problem I have with Heaven is that everything is good. As much as people may disagree with the following statement, I honestly think that evil is necessary in order to make good, well, good. To explain to you what I mean, let’s give the example of a baby receiving candy versus being stolen. When the baby is given candy, it’s good, because it makes the baby happy and is a kind thing to do, and on the flip side, taking the candy is bad because it takes away the baby’s happiness. Now, what happens if we remove the stealing? Can you still call the action “good?” I don’t know how you could, as there’s no longer anything to differentiate the two, and thus “good” loses its value, it just becomes something that happens. The same can be said about Hell: if all the evils are put together, are they truly “evil,” or is it just the way they exist? Essentially, since there is neither to counter the other, the other loses value because there is nothing to balance it out.
Do people truly deserve eternal damnation simply because they don’t believe in Christianity?
I’m by no means the utmost virtue of good, and I’ve made mistakes I’m nor proud of. Nobody has. As Christians, you all know this, and I’m not saying you don’t. What I am saying, however, is whether or not a person deserves to suffer for eternity just because they don’t repent to God for those mistakes. To be fair, I’m not saying certain people should go unpunished for crimes, and while I am overall against the idea of Hell, I’m not going to lie and say that I wouldn’t be happy knowing a murderer wasn’t getting what they had coming to them in life. I do, however, think it’s a bit unfair to group average people who made average mistakes in with them and the other scums of the world simply because they don’t believe in Christianity. The main reason I think it’s unfair is because I renders salvation nigh impossible because it segregates it to only a small group of people, even if these people don’t necessarily deserve it.
2. Him
Whichever name you want to use, these are questions about the man himself.
Why is God, in the Bible, somewhat depicted as selfish?
From an outsider’s perspective, it seems that God in the Bible is somewhat selfish. Now, I understand that by saying this, I’m committing the unforgivable sin of “blasphemy against the Spirit,” but that honestly goes to further my question. I honestly have always found it hard to understand that above genocide, enslavement, rape, torture, and all these other things, the singular thing that God chooses not to forgive is, and pardon me for being crude here, having his ego hurt. Furthermore, returning to an old point, the sole way to get into Heaven is to believe in Him fully. If the entirety of one’s life must revolve around someone’s self, is that not the epitome of selfishness?
Another thing I want to mention is something that happened to me. I once asked a pastor the following question: “If a sin is committed in the name of God, will God excuse it?” I then brought up the example of people who were converted to Christianity through war, which combines several sins (including wrath) into one massive sin, and he said yes. I find this to be a bit hypocritical.
I plan to add more questions, but at the time of writing, it’s 12:49 AM where I am and I’m sleepy. Thanks for reading this far and let me know your answers and replies in the comments!